stay negative, die young

The day I decided to stay positive, is the day I wanted to die the most.

cocksucker!

Got sen out from some tukang ngajar inten mofo cuz I didn't bring a bloody book and was 'disrespectful' by being on the phone (which I had been doing before that shit came btw). So I'm sitting all by myself outside, thinking oh maybe I can talk to that thug today, so I did. First three minutes went alright, but then he blamed me for disappearing? And he's doing it again! "That was all you" my ass. God he is soooo gay. Gay as a rainbow. Gay as the jonas faggots put together. So gay that perez hilton would consider going out with. Ok I'm not making any sense right here, but I'm really pissed (and mega bored) right now. No signs of miracle either... Gahh this sucks.

woah

I've forgotten so much that I had this blog. Anyway, it's Ramadan now. The sad part is, my favorite clubs are closed while the bars don't serve booze. But the good part is that I can have a reason not to eat.
Anyway. Today, during fasting break I had early dinner with my parents only since my brother was out somewhere and my sister is in college overseas. We shared some laughs when I read them bits and pieces from Overheard New York, and then somehow we ended up talking about soulmates. Which led them to tell me these stories about their dating years. Seriously it was so funny. And they're still teasing each other about it.. God that was hilarious. But what makes me happy is that they're still so in love with each other despite their differences and how our life goes fucking rad. It's nice to know that no matter they get on each other's nerves, during dinnertimes as simple as this, they still love each other and we're a family.

God I'm having such a perfect Kodak moment right now. I wish this never ends.

questions!

Why am I a girl, too sensitive about things and even after telling myself a million times that I'm over him I'm still not and never will?

Why is he a guy, forfeiting his life to be my knight but disappears so often and makes false promises?

Why is there time differences and oceans, keeping us apart?

Why do things get really awkward after I return home?

Why does it have to be us to have a godforsaken relationship?

lala?

God this blog looks fugly compared to my official one. Or not-so-official since it's set to private. I've had that one since 2005. I have this urge to show it to my friends and exchange links and stuff since those writings are dying to be told, but I have secrets I don't want the world to know (say... Family problems?). Ah the dilemma. Okay I'm done, back to chem.

tonight i die. Okay maybe some other time.

Right now I'm on my bed, my chemistry textbook opened on my forehead as I'm writing this. I have chem test tomorrow and I know nothing. Anyway I have about a million things running in my mind... Apart from chem, obviously. Deadline for Unicef illustrations is this week, I'm still grieving over some asshole I tattooed, I still don't know where to go for college, and there's this little half Japanese kid-- younger by two years, fyi-- who keeps on bugging me in a weird way and it's creeping me out. I have a mixed up feeling about everything and I hate myself for it cuz I always feel this way lately. I need my D girls, parties and booze!! Come to think of it we haven't had that much of get-togethers at my place that includes triple sec and more triple sec. But that'd be fairly impossible thanks to Unicef. Doing this for the hefty paychecks. Hefty. Paychecks. I'll keep that in mind.

car ride with the mofo

First things first. You know that stupid father of mine is such an asshole. Today after school he's giving me a lecture big time about competitions, how I'm so stupid I landed on the bottom class, how my sister is such a genius, how I'm most likely gonna fail etc etc etc. Look you old fart, I don't need you to tell me that. I already know ok. I know too many things I shouldn't know cuz I'm too young for this shit. And what's this shit about you knowing what's best?? Dude you're like failing oh so miserably. How could you know the best? I mean if you do, you look like you need one for yer fucking self.

Ok ok ok. At the other side, I had a weird dream last night. It involved someone taking of my shoes-- my school shoes-- and my socks... with his MOUTH. And what made me feel uncomfortable, I had so many little encounters with him today. Ok so he's nice and pretty handsome, but the thought of him doing it to me is just weird. And icky. Although it's nice in a way-- NO. It's definitely icky.

i guess this is hello.

One lousy evening after a rough day cuz I have PMS, I decided to start another blog. Yeah, another since I've had millions of these, a few of them updated regularly. But this time is for my life updates, freshly written using my blackberry. It's nothing fancy cuz this fella's a hand-me-down, but I thought this way I could achieve self-actualization. I decided I will write every time something happens, even if I'm in the toilet waiting for a shy one (okay TMI) like right now.
For starters, I am 17, I love art, fashion, the mafia, parties, booze. I have everything else to mention, but I'm not a fan of long posts (since this one's an introduction, I'll make an exception) so I guess that's it for now. You'll learn more eventually.
Stay tuned. XXXXX