watching the city from 18th floor

I'm still at the hospital. I feel completely bored I can't hold back the urge to go home. Got a lot to do and still indebted in art... Sigh. Don't even remind me. Anyhow. I was talking to my "gay" friend who had a crush on me (I'm just being honest because it was so obvious, and I didn't feel comfortable about it cuz he was my best guy friend) and I'm super relieved that he's found a new girl to fancy in his new university. I was like OMG finally, someone new! It felt so good that we can finally talk to each other again without being awkward (him, trying to make a move on me; me, denying him nicely all the freaking time). Feels so good to have a good friend back! At the end of our 3 hour phone call, we wished each other luck on our love lives. Wholeheartedly.I find it wonderful that people move on, but I hated the fact that I couldn't. Not love-wise, though. College life is just a matter of days and frankly speaking, I am absolutely and undoubtedly TERRIFIED.

another shit happened tonight

As far as I know, I've always hated hospitals. I hate the smell, the ambience, the fake smiles those doctors and nurses make to assure you that everything is going to be all right when they're not. Especially the last part.

OK so remind me what the hell am I doing here? I mean, hi, I'm staying overnight. Oh right, nobody to go home to. And since everyone in the family is either feeble, needy, ridiculous, or just plain annoying (or I dunno, a combo of all of it?) Here am I, the family jester, a victim. So my brother is sick and is currently hospitalized-- don't worry, he's perfectly fine. He's only been here for a couple of days and is leaving tomorrow. He only had a fever and diarrhea, frankly speaking, but since my parents are a bunch of drama queens, yeah you get the picture. But why do I have to stay over by force when both my parents are already here? It doesn't make sense. To top it all, they're nothing but fights. My dad's annoying as hell and is terribly ridiculous, and my mom is this selfish dictatorate drama queen whose idea of perfection is highly unattainable. Which leaves me, a little victim of this whole supposedly-funtime disaster.

Jesus fucking Navas get me out of here.

I hate my family.

I graduated high school

Just today. I don't know what to say. I feel so overwhelmed.
And I still can't believe I made it through.

I'm still the emo kid who writes using her blackberry during car rides.

My parents found out about the ongoing 265-paged novel I'm working on, along with a dozen more manuscripts and drafts and separate chapters.

I'm very disappointed with myself for not hiding it well, but I curse the fact that they are very disrespectful to my privacy. I should've known this is coming, after all I always find their praises on my writings quite fishy, but I didn't expect them to have ALL of them saved in their computer.

And to tell you the truth, that story wasn't exactly the kind I'd love my parents to read. It's an attempt on crude humor and black comedy, with a little spices called sex and lustrous affairs. I swear it's not a teenage literature with some romancy stuff like Twilight, in fact I think it's pretty good and I had given my all for that story. It's just... having my parents to read my little parallel universe, is beyond awkward. No it's more than that actually, it's far worse. They're the least persons I'd like to have my novel read by.

stay negative, die young

The day I decided to stay positive, is the day I wanted to die the most.

cocksucker!

Got sen out from some tukang ngajar inten mofo cuz I didn't bring a bloody book and was 'disrespectful' by being on the phone (which I had been doing before that shit came btw). So I'm sitting all by myself outside, thinking oh maybe I can talk to that thug today, so I did. First three minutes went alright, but then he blamed me for disappearing? And he's doing it again! "That was all you" my ass. God he is soooo gay. Gay as a rainbow. Gay as the jonas faggots put together. So gay that perez hilton would consider going out with. Ok I'm not making any sense right here, but I'm really pissed (and mega bored) right now. No signs of miracle either... Gahh this sucks.

woah

I've forgotten so much that I had this blog. Anyway, it's Ramadan now. The sad part is, my favorite clubs are closed while the bars don't serve booze. But the good part is that I can have a reason not to eat.
Anyway. Today, during fasting break I had early dinner with my parents only since my brother was out somewhere and my sister is in college overseas. We shared some laughs when I read them bits and pieces from Overheard New York, and then somehow we ended up talking about soulmates. Which led them to tell me these stories about their dating years. Seriously it was so funny. And they're still teasing each other about it.. God that was hilarious. But what makes me happy is that they're still so in love with each other despite their differences and how our life goes fucking rad. It's nice to know that no matter they get on each other's nerves, during dinnertimes as simple as this, they still love each other and we're a family.

God I'm having such a perfect Kodak moment right now. I wish this never ends.